“Someone”

What if one day, you found “someone” who made you a person, who made you feel alive. “Someone” who is not perfect but everyday you shared are perfectly fine.

Until one day, your world shrink. You lost connection to your old friends. You spent days with “someone”. You and “someone” are always together.. in person or in cyber world.

You thought “someone” will be enough.

But twists happen..

You are with “someone”. “Someone” got busy with her long time friends. (you can’t complain, before you there were them) What will you do? Go home? Sleep? Play? Days pass like that always.

Will you get bored? ..get jealous?

Things are not ending there.

“Someone” met a “Guy”.

You hate how  you are losing “someone” gradually. You know how will this end, you’ve been there, done that. “Someone” told you, this will be different. But you can clearly see how similar things are.

Will you believe “someone”?

😩😟😔

 

 

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Silence

Today, i wrote paragraphs of words and just delete everything. why?

You don’t have to know, because you can’t understand.

😦

Paper Feelings

Sometimes it’s better to move on than to hold on to a person who doesn’t understand you. Sometimes your absence will teach what your presence cannot. -Anonymous

To My Ex

Hey! Where on earth are you now? I ended up our relationship. (Yes, it’s “I” not “We”. I did not give you a chance to say a word. No No’s, no why’s.) After I gave you that full of shit letter, I never heard a word from you. What an obedient man.

(I have no intentions on writing this, I just can’t stop my fingers expressing how I felt after I read a more than 2years old conversation.)

Thank You, Dear for letting me know these by leaving your account open in my phone. (Never do this again. Mind that there is that so-called notifications.)

“I don’t feel loved by my own girlfriend.”

I’m guilty. I did not love you.
(But, I did not love you the way you want me to love you.)

“Lagi nalang akong last sa priority nya.”

I’m guilty. You’re always my last priority.
(But, your my last priority in your perspective. How can you even define priority?)

Di man ako yung girlfriend na ginusto mong maging, naging ako lang yung girlfriend na ako talaga. Minahal kita sa paraang alam ko. Siguro, 4th ka sa priorities ko. Family, TRUE Friends, Work, Ikaw. Pero di yan last, may mga kasunod pa yan.

I don’t have to defend myself but for once, di kita inargabyado. I saved you.

You’ve been a good boyfriend and I’ve been girlfriend who doesn’t know how to appreciate. (In the perspective of the people around us.)
Don’t worry, you left that thinking, I’m still that girl to them.

It’s better to move on than to hold on to a person who doesn’t understand you.

Siguro, yun yung kulang satin, mutual understanding.

Sabi ko nga, wala akong intensyon isulat to, bugso lang ng damdamin.

Kung nasaan ka man ngayon, sana successful ka na. Sana nakita mo na yung babaeng tinadhana sayo. Sana ubos na galit mo sakin.

Well, past is past. Nasaktan, umiyak, iniwan, nawala. Pero, ang importante, yung lesson na nakuha natin sa experience. Di ko pinagsisisihang sinagot kita. Di man natin nakita ang forever sa isa’t isa. Naging once upon a time naman natin ang isa’t isa.

(PS. After ko isulat ‘to mapaisip ako.. Yung totoo, nakamove-on ka na ‘te? Bakit affected ka pa sa lumang chat? Hahahaha. Hormones!!)

-yscribler’s mind

Diaro – entry (01:03 AM, Wednesday 22 July 2015) When I’m tired..

Over thinker? Count me in.

My job is an answered prayer. I will never forget how happy and proud of myself I am when I got hired. But now.. I am stressed and tired of it. And I can’t blame myself. I LOVED my job, yes! But I don’t know how long can I still hold on. I am currently at the peak of giving up.. Lord, please.. be with me.

Here we go. I want to weigh things up.
1. I am pretty tired. So what?? Is giving up the right thing to do? What will happen to me? How can I support my family if I will give up without back up?
2. I am currently working more than 12 hours most of the time. How much energy and time I am wasting for 50pesos or leave credits (which are so hard to pick a day of usage)? How much money could I earn if I am in different company and I’m rendering OT like this?
3. I have a stable job. There were jobless people who would love to be in my shoe.
4. If I will resign, who will shoulder the projects that I will leave? Dadagdag pa ko sa problema nila.
5. If I won’t, there is a big possibility that I will be one of those who will shoulder the projects of those who willl resign.
6. I’m getting older. I need more money. Pampagawa ng bahay. Pangtravel.
7. Some people in the office are irritaring.
8. I am not learning. I’m trapped. I know I can do better but everything is repetitive.
9. Rules can kill me. Nakakasakal.
10. I still don’t have enough confidence to take risks and leave the “comfort” zone.
11. I want to experience more technical tasks.
12. Makati scares me. No, denso makati scares me.
13. I want to fly. I want to do something I’ve never done before.

Haha.. Most of the above statements convinced me that it’s time to go. The more I think that I have to stay for the company, the more I.think that I have to leave for my own growth.

Whew. Libra nga ako. Anyway. I hope, one day I can take the path where God leads me.

-Ja

2become1

I believe in soulmates.

I believed that there’s “the one” we share our soul with.

In my early age, i used to think that there is one “exact me” living a different life far from me. My mind has been so playful that made me even think that the other me lives exactly opposite. When I’m sad, she’s happy and vice versa.

But I, myself can’t even understand the old weird me.

I still believe in soulmates.

I thought that He could be someone who is made for me. Made to live eternity with me. Somebody who is fated for me.

 

But now, soulmate. I think i found her. There is an invisible thread connecting our brains and hearts. There is connection that is hard to explain. We are like one soul in two different bodies. Exaggerated but true.

Soulmate, i don’t know about you. But I’m feeling 22. Lols

Diaro – entry (02:08 AM, Wednesday 06 November 2013) You made me feel loved

I just remember my last year’s Nov.6.

A month after my 22nd year. A day of surprise, a day of kilig, a day when someone left a bouquet of flowers in front of our apartment’s door. Creepy.. but happiness is there.

Yes, every girl would love to receive flowers.. We usually deny it but deep down in our hearts.. whew! ..(y) like! (oops.. This is my personal opinion).

So, what’s with flowers if it’s not from the person you expected to give you? I don’t know. But i can never deny that i liked it (the flowers) regardless who gave it. Nah, no! Hmm.. Yes, it’s been months since this person showed me care and that not ordinary treatment before he did this. But in my head, i know that that time, i don’t want to enter a relationship that will just imprison me. (well, that’s how i look in boyfriend girlfriend relationship XD)

Enough of story telling. I know that there is only one sentence or one phrase that i really want to say but my fingers can’t stop from typing just not to lead to that.

Coward is what I am. Fool at times. Always afraid to leave the comfort zone. Being too careful not to be broken. Being so dumb not to shed a tear.

You loved me, i broke you. You cared for me, i take you for granted. These.. ahmm.. Just some proof that you’re better off without me. Thank you for the memories.

I am not alone.

image

Year ago, in a place far from my real world, I walked alone.

This photo made me see things in different perspective. Yes, at first sight I’m alone, but looking again made me smile. Not so far ahead there were two ladies waiting plus the man looking after me, without him.. no photo cam be captured. 🙂

I’ m blessed.. at times I really see myself alone. But it’s about time to open my mind and accept things. You are not alone, you’re eyes are just closed to see the people who are there for you. Stop thinking that you made your problems so you will face it alone. Accept it, there were these people who want to help you lighten the load you are carrying. Learn to let them help, stop feeling guilty.

You were born alone but you grew with these people. If you will continue rejecting their help, time will come that they will no more offer it for you. Learn to be “makapal”. Di dahil tinulungan ka nila, may utang na loob ka na. Di dahil nag effort sila, pinagod mo na sila. Di dahil nag-allot sila ng time for you, sinayang mo na oras nila. Ginusto nila yun!! GROW UP!

Thank You, yes you! Are you my guardian angel? Heaven sent. 🙂